Shame on you

My 7-year-old daughter came home from school one day, held up her middle
finger, and asked me what it meant. I was so shocked that I could say
only,

"Shame on you," followed by, "If anyone does that to you, just say,

"Shame on you" to that person.

A few weeks later we were at the dinner table when my husband let out a

huge belch. I reprimanded him by saying,

"Shame on you."

Imagine my husband's shock when my daughter held up her middle finger, showed it to him, and exclaimed,
" Mom, you forgot to give Daddy the 'shame on you' sign."

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Uses of the Middle Finger

Once upon a time there was this little Italian boy in the fields with his father. Looking at his dad's hands, the boy says, "Papa, you do many things with your hands, tell me about your fingers."

"Wella Tony," Papa said, "You seea this first finger? You use a dis a one to point a to whata evea you wanna to. You see youa thumb? You usea disa for turna pages in a book, and your ringa finger, you will use whena you get a married, and your little finga, you use to picka you nose. And the middle finga, well, I'lla tella you about thata one when youa getta married."

Little Tony was satisfied with that and time past. It was now Tony's wedding day. It was a beautiful wedding and just before he was leaving with his bride,

Tony went to have a talk with Papa.

Tony said, "Papa, many years ago you told me to use this finger to point at what I want, to turn pages with my thumb, to pick my nose with this little one, and to put my wedding ring on this one, but, Papa, what is it I do with this middle finger?"

Papa drew close to Tony and said, "Tony, tonighta you will makea mad hotta love to youa woman many times, and youa may getta tired. When thatta happens, and youa woman turns to you an wanna makea da love againa, that's when you takea your middle finga and you poka on her head and say, 'Go back to sleep youa silly woman!'"

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Doctors? Jokes *kinda gross but funny, not for the light hearted*

A bunch of first-year medical students were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "It is absolutely necessary to have two important qualities as a Doctor of Medicine: the first is that you're not disgusted by anything involving the human body."

For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, rolled the body over and stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it, and stuck it in his mouth.

"Go ahead and do the same thing", he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger

Now learn to pay attention"